Sephiroth High!
by Yoshida Shigemori
Summary: Sephiroth High! The high school fic to parody all high school fics. Here, we explore the amazing student body, Sora, the Cheerleader! Riku the School Nurse! Kairi the poser! And of course Roxas, Namine and Axel too! What are you waiting for? ENROL NOW!


It was dark and stormy. The rain was pouring heavily…

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Goofy yelled at the intruder who was with his girl. The intruder took a step back, fear reflected in his eyes. "I… I… I wasn't thinking… But… But…"

"OF COURSE YOU WEREN'T THINKING! HOW COULD YOU STEP WITHIN SEVEN FEET OF MY CHICK! HOW COULD YOU FLIRT WITH HER! GET OUT!" Goofy's boomed angrily. Rage began to fill up in him as he drew his shield, SaveTheKing. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!" He took a step closer to the intruder, allowing mud to fly over his shoes. He didn't care- nothing mattered except his dear, his darling, his sweetum-pookums, his honey-buns, sugar plums… (© The Cuppycake Song)

A dark shadow appeared. A white- clad figure stepped into the darkness, a grin spread over her face as she trudged towards Goofy. Goofy couldn't believe his eyes. "Who… who… are you? Are you a g-g-g-ghost?"

Everybody touched the nearest tree. "TOUCHWOOD!"

The girl sighed. "I'M NAMINE! AND STOP FREAKING OUT OVER THE GUMMI SCHOOL BUS! WE'RE ALL SOAKING HERE, BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET US ON YOUR STINKIN' BUS!"

"THE SCHOOL IS JUST TWO BLOCKS AWAY! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST WALK THERE AND ALLOW ME TO MOURN MY BUS' FALL AT THE HANDS OF…" he took a deep breath. "MICKEY MOUSE!"

**Sephiroth High- the high school fic to parody all high school fics**

A/N: ONE DAY…Three people by the names of ?? and ? liked Sephiroth for one day. This is not in any way to be taken seriously. And we're serious about not taking this seriously. We just want to spread the stupidity and the SEPHIROTH HIGH SCHOOL SPIRIT!

Oh by the way, that scene was a lie…

CHAPTER 1: THE CITY OF SEPHIVILLE!

The city of Sephiville. The 'Sephi-est' of all villes, whatever that means. Everything in Sephiville screamed Sephi-ness. People shopped at the Sephiroth Complex. Babies were born in Sephiroth General Hospital. (SGH) Anybody who was a Somebody (or a Nobody, and a few Heartless and Brainless) who lived in Sephiville went to Sephiroth Kindergarten, and after that they went to Sephiroth Elementary, then Sephiroth Middle School, and then high school. Which high school? Sephiroth High, DUH.

After that, they went to Sephiroth University and worked for the Sephiroth Company and retired in the Sephiroth Home for the Not So Young, but that's a different story.

Once upon a time, Sora, Riku, Kairi, Roxas, Namine, Cloud, Tifa, (etc.) were born within 3 years of each other. They all went to Sephiroth Daycare, then Sephiroth Kindergarten, then Sephiroth Elementary, then Sephiroth Middle School, then…

Sephiroth High School. DUH!

"Mr. Sushisashimiudonsobateriyakitempura!" Teacher Demyx yelled. "HOW DARE YOU PLAY THIS SONG IN C MAJOR INSTEAD OF Z MAJOR! IT'S TOTALLY OFF-TUNE! YOU'RE WRONG, I TELL YOU, WRONG!" Pence hung his head in despair. "GO STAND IN THE CORNER WITH AXEL!"

Axel grinned. "HA! GOT IT MEMORIZED?"

"Mr. Sushisashimiudonsobateriyakitempura! TAKE THE DUNCE CAP OFF AXEL'S HEAD AND PUT IT ON YOURS!"

"Why?" Pence replied.

"His hair made it keep falling off. And it looks better on you. NOW GO PUT THAT CAP ON!"

Pence put the dunce cap on. Axel pouted. "You're stealing my cap!"

"TEACHER DEMYX! LOOK AT HIM! He's already in his 30s and he's still playing with the dunce cap!" screamed Pence.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGG….

The Sephi-bell rang.

Sora ran into the classroom panting, holding two hot pink (the national Sephi-colour) pom-poms.

"I'M SORRY I WAS LATE! I WAS AT CHEERLEADING PRACTICE! The mascot costume was missing! We had to use the battery costume instead. Then, everybody forgot the national anthem, you know, the one that goes…"

Suddenly, Sora was rudely interrupted by the speaker, which played…

"OH NO! THE SEPHIROTH ANTHEM! EVERYONE STAND STRAIGHT! And, Pence… Z Major, not C Major. Please."

Pence pouted. "Aww…"

"BOYS! You know your part. GIRLS! Don't miss the cue! It has to be PERFECT and SEPHI-ISH! Especially YOU, AXEL," yelled Teacher Demyx.

"HA! Got that memorized?" said Pence.

insert song here

"Oh, sorry about putting on the Sephiroth Anthem. My mistake! I was going to put on my new Will H.E. Hum CD, that 'She Shoots' song. You know the one that goes 'SHE SHOOTS! SHE SHOOTS!' I accidentally pressed play, and the Sephiroth Anthem went on, and you know the rules, once it's on, it's ON, you can't stop it until it's finished! Anyway, before I forget, tomorrow is National Sephi-Camp Day! Remember the field trip tomorrow! Or else…" the computerized voice came over the loudspeaker. Nobody knew who the principal was. Every time they passed his (or her, or maybe its) room, they would just see a black shadow and a white question mark. The principal was about to continue talking when…

"SHE SHOOTS! SHE SHOOTS!"

"Oh! That's my song; ignore it please…unless you want to listen…SHE SHOOTS!"

Demyx picked up his sitar and banged it into the loudspeaker. Everybody just stared at sparks flying out.

"OK EVERYBODY! Remember the song we sang last year at National Sephi-Camp Day?" asked Teacher Demyx.

Roxas and Hayner put up their hands. Roxas was waving his hand until it almost fell off. Hayner's hand did fall off, so they all sent him to SGH. Riku, who was training as a nurse, helped, but he just made Hayner's other hand fall off. Of course, Riku only went to nurse school for about two hours, and they had only learned how to give CPR, so Riku gave CPR to one of Hayner's hands. So obviously, Teacher Demyx picked Roxas.

"1…2…3…7….85…GO! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG!" yelled Roxas until he fell off his chair.

The class continued, "C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG!"

They all sang it in their own style.

Cloud sang like this:

"C-A-M-P, er, Z-O, no wait, F-Y-R-U, argh no, its camp…fire…F-I-R-E, song, how do you spell SONG?

"Oh you are so stupid, it's like this, G-N-O-S-E-R-I-F-P-M-A-C SONG!" Axel corrected him.

"How do you even READ that?" said Tifa.

"Beats me, but everybody sings it that way," replied Axel.

Everybody stopped singing for a while and thought about what Axel said. They all scratched their heads and rubbed their chins and thought really, really hard, so hard, some of them even went on fire. Then they all nodded at each other, and sang the song the other way round.

"G-N-O-S-E-R-I-F-P-M-A-C SONG! G-N-O-S-E-R-I-F-P-M-A-C SONG!"

Everybody continued to sing the Campfire Song Song, Sora felt ignored and just ran away screaming to Kairi about what happened, and Kairi, who loved old and artistic stuff, listened to him, while she was in the same pose as that The Thinker statue.

"Hmm, yes…yes…true," said Kairi who was talking all smart, like a psychologist.

Sora continued to blabber like a maniac. He blabbered about cheerleading, how he didn't get to be captain and he cried for 36 hours about it, about tomorrow's National Sephi-Camp Day Cheer contest, about how the bus was late this morning, about how the lunch lady served ice cream sodas instead of beans and how sad that was, about how everybody refused to buy health food because it was National Sephi-Camp Day tomorrow…

"Hmm, yes…yes…true," said Kairi, again, still in the same pose.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGG….

The Sephi-bell rang again.

School was over!

Everybody who was not in detention like Axel ran out of Sephiroth High in a very Sephiroth like manner. They were all singing the Campfire Song Song, which Teacher Demyx taught them. Teacher Demyx was so happy he had tears in his eyes. He stared crying so hard and blowing his nose like there was no National Sephi-Camp Day tomorrow.

"I'm so happy, I'm going to start a TEACHER'S RAP CLUB!" cried Teacher Demyx. He then ran off playing the Sephiroth Anthem his sitar.

-End of Chapter One: The City of Sephiville!-


End file.
